Family is Everything

By Dr. Marcia Davis-Dawkins

Holidays are centered around family. I have always been a person who loves and enjoys being with family. When I was growing up, one of my friends said that “I wasn’t a family person” simply because I didn’t grow up with my mother and father like most people do. I don’t think I ever got over that statement. In fact, a few years ago, I sought clarification from the friend only to be told that he was immature and never understood me. For the record, I grew up with my aunts, who were both teachers and might have steered me in the direction of being an educator. Most people don’t know or understand the reasons children don’t live with their parents and are quick to pass judgments. But does that mean that they are not living in a family or that they don’t desire a “traditional family” life? How do we define ‘family’? Most people define a ‘traditional family’ as a married mother and father along with biological children living in the same house. We might also say that was once upon a time – since there are so many new ways to define a family these days. However we define family, it should include being supportive, understanding – being there to help with homework, attend school events among other things.

Never Underestimate the Power of Family

Now that I am older I can say I was a tad bit embarrassed to admit that I was not part of a “traditional” family and even more embarrassed that it was a single parent family. It seemed almost like a crime or a sin to me! With age comes wisdom, however, and I have come to realize that my family may not have had it all together, but together we had it all. Despite missing the conventional cast of characters, my family was there for me through the best of times and the worst of times. Many things change during the course of your lifetime, such as friends, jobs, your morals, your style, but the one constant is family. They provide for your emotional and physical needs without you demanding it and stand by you. Their presence ensures that you will be loved for the rest of your life, no matter what.

I often wondered how my students felt growing up in a single family home, especially since for me I had the experience of my friends growing up in the traditional married parents family. Because of that I always empathize with my students who would tell me secretly that that lived with their aunts, grandma or others who were not mother or father. I always felt the need to assure them that it was okay and that it was not the end of the world. It is also such a sensitive topic when the situation is that the parents are deceased and the lessons are centered around family discussions or activities, such as when we are reading Sarah, Plain and Tall by Patricia MacLachlan, where the mom in the story is deceased. The story’s theme explores loneliness, abandonment, and coping with change. Then there is that time when it’s Mother’s Day or Father’s Day and the activity is to make something for the parent, who unfortunately, is deceased. As educators we have to be mindful of these situations and know our students and know their backgrounds and ensure that we plan our lessons carefully. Family is everything, but we cannot allow our students to feel left out. We should make them feel like our classroom is a family setting and help them to cope through the difficult times that they may encounter. We cannot replace blood relatives, but can be that “family” that is a valuable resource for helping them through onerous times. Knowing this support system is available to them offers the security they may be lacking at home. Never underestimate the power of “family,” the most important gift in our lives.