“This little light of mine, I’m gonna to let it shine”. Those are the words of a little song I learned as a young girl, and it has been coming to me every day recently. It hit me even more a few days ago when I shared with a friend (or who I thought was a friend), how I was observed by a supervisor and that she gave me such a beautiful. I was overly excited about the wonderful words I had read about me that I wanted to share with everyone. The written words gave me added light and confidence, I wanted to shine even more in my capacity of a teacher.
My bubble burst, my bulb blew when the person, after reading the feedback, said “Is that all she had to say?” “What right does she have to observe you?” My light was beginning to dim as he went on and on, just demeaning me and I felt weak and less than my real value. My only response was to ask if that was all he had to say. I wasn’t expecting a response, but I took my feedback paper and sheepishly put it in my binder and closed it. My tears were close, but I held it together and somehow, I perked up and thought about how close he came to bury me but then I realized that it was my light that he was trying to dim instead of trying to celebrate my accomplishment and my win. Then I started celebrating me, I picked myself up and dust me off – my light won’t go out. This one person shouldn’t put out my light, he is just one dimmer, and I can think of many people who will help and have helped to radiate my light. I will surround myself with like minded people and those who will celebrate my light. My light is important even when others can’t see. Praise is so much more important rather than criticism. Criticism can only deflate and yes, dim lights. How can we help to radiate others and create goodness and mercy? I know that I won’t abandon me, but I will continue to grow since there is no growth without pain. It is important to encourage myself and think positively about myself. There will definitely be people who want me to shine. I cannot let someone else’s opinion of me, determine who I am. I will learn to grow even from the light dimmers. Some people will never value my light.
The song goes on to say, “Everywhere I go, I’m gonna to let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.” That will be my advice to me, and I will encourage you to do the same.
As a Social Studies teacher, who might I add does not really like History, I always look for ways to encourage students to want to study History. That being said, for Black History I wanted to make it fun and not do the same thing over and over. I was talking to a fellow educator and telling her how I felt and she quickly suggested that I consider the novel, The 1619 Project, Born on the Water by Nikole Hannah-Jones and Renee Watson, illustrated by Nikkolas Smith. I quickly considered the idea and ordered the book on Amazon and even decided that I wanted to be observed by my principal as I taught this novel! I was nervous but excited! I had great expectations too!
As I started to introduce the book, we discussed where each person was from, where each family originated. This went far greater than I anticipated as the students were delved into talking about themselves as well as their families. Soon we were able to write poems about where they were from. The poems were amazingly done and typed including and organized in a binder for all to see. Soon the news of the poems spread among some faculty members like wild fire – they wanted to read the poems and they did!! They were really revealing and we gathered more information about each student.
We responded to several writing prompts including How did the girl’s family make America their home? What does it mean that the girl’s ancestors were “born on the water?” What does the author want the readers to learn from this story? Explain using evidence from the text. In a sense, we were practicing to respond to NJSLA questions so students could think outside the box and at the same time learn about Black History. So there are cross curricula (Social Studies and Language Arts) woven together whilst being departmentalized. This also means that the expectations are the same for both academic classes.
In the story, the author wanted to show that Black Americans have their own proud story of origin and it did not begin with slavery. The Black Americans adjusted to their new lifestyle after being captured from Africa. Even though they struggled they made the best of what they had and became proud of who they were.
The final part of the lesson was to demonstrate their understanding of the themes in the novel by creating a three-dimensional diorama. The students’ creativity shone through their artwork by bringing the scenes to life where they used their tactile learning skills. It was a joy to behold. It was obvious that the students were engaged and enjoyed the learning especially since we infused Project Based Learning!
Here’s that was written about the the lesson. Please feel free to read and enjoy.
We started high school together many, many years ago and most of us lacked confidence and were unsure of where life would take us, as we embarked on our journey. Ironically, our yearbook had a heading for the school year: We’ve Only Just Begun” – as sung by the Carpenters. I have no idea who the yearbook committee members were and why they chose that song for us. All I know is that it was so fitting for a group of 10- and 11-year-olds, as we got ‘the kiss of luck’ and we were on our way.
Lyrics
We’ve only just begun to live
White lace and promises
A kiss for luck and we’re on our way
(We’ve only begun)
Before the risin’ sun, we fly
So many roads to choose
We’ll start out walkin’ and learn to run
(And yes, we’ve just begun)
Sharing horizons that are new to us
Watchin the signs along the way
Talkin’ it over, just the two of us
Workin’ together day to day
Together
And when the evening comes, we smile
So much of life ahead
We’ll find a place where there’s room to grow
(And yes, we’ve just begun)
Sharing horizons that are new to us
Watchin’ the signs along the way
Talkin’ it over, just the two of us
Workin’ together day to day
Together
Together
And when the evening comes, we smile
So much of life ahead
We’ll find a place where there’s room to grow
And yes, we’ve just begun.
Five years later at our graduation, we were singing our chosen graduation song, “Do You Know Where You ‘re Going To? Sung by Diana Ross.
Lyrics
Do you know where you’re going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know?
Do you get what you’re hoping for?
When you look behind you, there’s no open doors
What are you hoping for?
Do you know?
Once we were standing still in time
Chasing the fantasies that filled our minds
You knew how I loved you, but my spirit was free
Laughing at the questions that you once asked of me
Do you know where you’re going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know?
Now looking back at all we planned
We let so many dreams just slip through our hands
Why must we wait so long before we see
How sad the answers to those questions can be?
Do you know where you’re going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know?
Do you get what you’re hoping for?
When you look behind you, there’s no open doors
What are you hoping for?
Do you know?
Did we really understand the lyrics to both of those songs? Maybe not, but we certainly were singing. Years later, after graduation, we reunited and talked about our feelings and explained to each other the journey we took or the journey that had taken us and how we faired. We realized that we made some great decisions, had some rough or even traumatic experience and that we learned some valuable lessons over the years. Most of us kept in touch and started going to various trips together. We celebrated each other, we laughed with each with other, we supported each other, we grieved with each other and most importantly, we prayed with each other. Some of us even shared how we need to be intentional about how we enjoy life and each other’s company especially since life can be so fleeting. Our togetherness became special because we shared the same culture, similar childhood days and we shared the same values. We can laugh, and the laughter brings peace and joy. We also realized that we need each other, were able to care for each other, exhaled and the togetherness brought a bond of friendship that many can’t identify with. As we laughed, one of us said that there could be onlookers wondering why and what grown women could find to laugh about so much and that even made us laugh more.
I strongly believe that as we get older, we get joy from hanging out with good friends and we appreciate it more especially since we life in such a world of stress and pain.
The educator in me can’t help but wonder what kinds of memories and lessons my students are creating and how they will think after graduation and beyond. Will they like the things that life has shown them. Do they know where they are going?
As always, I begin the school year with wonderful ideas and hopes of how the year will go smoothly. I used my summer break to recharge, renew and reset my teaching styles, philosophy and overall thinking and attitude about how to get through the year. Of course, this year was no exception. The first month went by smoothly and I was very encouraged and kept my dreams intact – this would be year I will make more positive impact on my students. Well, I spoke too soon! I had a parent who thought that I was rushing her child into too many responsibilities and that they were too rigorous for the six-year mind! Never mind that the rule was to put her sweater/sweatshirt/jean jacket on the back or the chair so that when needed it was readily at hand instead of going to the closet each time it was needed. Interestingly, the garment was needed quite often, and I realized soon that this could become disruptive for the student plus her peers. I stuck to my rule and decided that it was a reasonable request even though the parents were adamant about sending me notes and when that didn’t stir me, they would send similar notes to the principals, vice principals, guidance counselors and others in command to request that my “strict rules” be changed!
A few months later, another parent tried to pull the rug from under my feet and cursed me out in such way that I began to question my will to go on as a teacher. The demeaning words that were used were too much to be repeated and on top of that, it would degrade my professional stance. It must also be noted that this demeaning activity took place during dismissal, in the presence of parents, teachers and other students. This did not make a difference to the parent at all. I stood firm and I kept my cool. I kept thinking of how it would be easy to defend myself, took a chance and lose my teaching license or even lose the respect I had for the other parents. Yes, I didn’t lose my professionalism and I even thought of the Bible verse, that says, “A soft answer turneth away wrath but grievous words stir up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 My knees did feel as if they were buckling and tears were welling in my eyes, but I stood tall and continued to dismiss my remaining students.
The year continued with a few mean words from peers and administrators, but I suffered in silence. I kept my cool and wallowed in self-pity, however, I didn’t teach any less or treat any of the students as if they were less than. Secretly, I wished I could retire or quit and stay home, however, the reality of no income or medical allowance scared me and as such slapped back into reality. I even shuddered to know that I had to deal with the “problem parents” and their students for the remainder of the school year. I kept going, grinned and bore the struggles. They were REAL too! I didn’t think anyone understood either.
I counted down the days of freedom and could not wait for the school year to end! As the days grew closer to the end, I heard that “I would be a perfect fit for an older grade because I had done so well in the current grade”! My first thought was, “why was I being punished for being a good teacher?” Another thought, “I thought I would be finishing up my career in this grade!” I was not a happy camper and weeks after I started thinking of how God can and will help me no matter who moves me where and who says what about me. I am still awesome and can rise above what derogatory words. I will always affirm myself. “I can do all things through Christ.” Philippians 4:13 Then, came the last day of school! I was presently surprised with gifts, gift cards, flowers and even tears of regret about leaving my class. The beautiful expressions of love and care from the parents and students were proof of strength and encouragement. I felt like I did my job well and made them feel social and emotionally appreciated. I felt like say, “Mission accomplished”! I even thought of the saying “giving people their flowers while it still matters”. I had done my best and was rewarded even if some people made me feel less than. There were some who still believed in me and cared about me. Kindness matters and we should ALL try to keep kindness in the forefront of our minds. A reminder to self: never stop doing my best just because I don’t get the compliments or credit from others.
There are many things that I love about being kind and saying hello is one of them. Whenever I am walking in the hallways of work, it’s one of the things that comes naturally – just to say hi to my co- workers. Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same way. I don’t know if this happens to you. You say hello and those who respond (secret not everyone responds to kindness), may ask how are you doing? Surprisingly, I think they just say it just to be cordial because by the time I form my mouth to respond, the other person is gone. What is the point of asking how I am doing, and you don’t wait to get a respond? Are you really interested in knowing how I am doing?
It’s amazing how people can make you even change your demeanor, take for instance, I went to work as usual to prepare for my day and part of the preparation included making copies for my students. Well, I got into the copying room and another person was there making copies. So naturally, I said good morning quite pleasantly and by the time I got my pleasant words out, I was blasted with the words, “What’s so good about the morning?” I was in shock because I didn’t expect it and it also put a big damper on my mood and spirits. I was most of all scared and didn’t even want to continue being nice. I reassured myself that she must have been going through a rough morning and I was the first person she could spill her sadness on. Ever since that time, whenever I see that person, I am scared to even talk to the person. My mind flashes back to that day.
Then there was another time when I greeted a co-worker, and he asked how I was doing, and my response was that it was a long time and I felt tired. The last thing I expected to hear was that I was always complaining! I don’t even speak to that person on a regularly basis. In fact, I hardly cross paths with this person. It really left a bad taste in my mouth, especially since it was also my feelings, and what gave him the right to say I was complaining if that was how I felt? Above all, why did you ask if you didn’t want to hear my feelings? The world can be such an unfriendly place sometimes! Very few people are willing to take the time to listen or to even talk. I often evaluate myself and ask if that is the way I treated others. I am always willing to give someone a smile in the hallway or even on the streets. Smiles are free!
One of the things that I do as an educator, is that each morning when my students enter the classroom, I greet them with a smile and say good morning. I know that it makes a good start to the day. At times a few of them might be down and won’t respond but I encourage them to respond. The amazing thing is that they may also be the one who calls out another person who does not say good morning to the group. Interesting how we can “train up a child!” And we can be an example for adults even those we meet. We can’t allow people to define us or make us feel less than or even marginalized. Most important, do what you know is within you and continue doing good even when things around you seem dark, cloudy, and sad. It’s on the other person if they don’t care or don’t want to know how you feel.
Death seems to be raising its ugly head every day and just yes, too close for comfort. I’ve been putting off writing about this because it has stomped me, and I have not been ready to face the raw memory. This time it’s another friend whom we usually referred to each other as “namesake” since we have the same first name. My consolation has been that we use to talk regularly. In fact, she knew that I use to work on my lesson plans early on Saturday mornings so she would use that opportunity to call me, and we would talk for a long time then. Since her death about six months ago, I have not done my lessons plans on Saturday, but on Sunday afternoons. I just can’t seem to get it together or come to terms with this horrible fact.
Since we spoke regularly, I remember her calling me one morning as usual and she was explaining how she had been sick and did several surgeries and that things fell into place by “divine intervention” and “faith-based activities”. She even said that after the last long seven and a half surgery, her doctor had told her friend that he had “just completed my Masterpiece!” To which I had interjected, “I hope you realize that this was a clue that you have a book to write, and the title is, I Am the Masterpiece!” I was excited to say this and felt like she needed to hear, God those comforting words instead of thinking about her pain. We had even discussed that she should make notes of her journey in a journal. She also said that she had many journals but wanted to get strength to put things together as she was swamped with work and doctors’ appointments and the cycle goes on and on. Just listening to her it did seem exhausting but there was not a moment when I didn’t encourage her positively.
I would also think of the word, “masterpiece” as the doctor had referred to her. Seems as if I could not shake the word. So, I decided to research the word. Masterpiece definition as per the dictionary,
a work of outstanding artistry, skill, or workmanship.
(historical) a piece of work by a craftsman accepted as qualification for membership of a guild as an acknowledged master. There were other words for masterpiece including, treasure, flower, gem, monument, perfection. I could see how she was the epitome of a masterpiece. Her picture can be placed in the dictionary to further help with the definition.
A month or so before she died, I felt obligated to pay her a visit and even though we didn’t exchange many words, my mind was racing as I massaged her back and sang for her. She was in and out of sleep, but it didn’t matter, I wanted to be there with her, and I know she appreciated that I was there. For some reason the lessons that I was learning, and they were overwhelming. As I reflected, I couldn’t help but think that I should be the best version of myself and try to live up to my requirement of being a peacemaker, fun loving, lover of people and philanthropist. Others were telling me that I should always trust the process because there is nothing, I could have done to change anything.
She might not have been able to write her book, but she had begun journaling activities of her journey. My hope is that we can all learn a few lessons from her life – just as I learned. She was not an educator, but the lessons were simple yet compelling.
Additional lessons learned
live at peace with everyone
live as Christ would want
be prepared for life and death
be willing to show love (regardless of the person)
be a vessel of kindness
She always gave some interesting advice as we spoke and she would always remind me and many people she met to, “stay with God” and not worry about what other people would say (negatively) because sometimes there could be too much noise in the marketplace.
Again, I lost another friend, a masterpiece – one who will be forever in my heart!
By Dr. Marci
Let your light shine so others can see!
