Choose Kindness
Dr. Marcia Davis-DawkinsBy Marci D

As always, I begin the school year with wonderful ideas and hopes of how the year will go smoothly. I used my summer break to recharge, renew and reset my teaching styles, philosophy and overall thinking and attitude about how to get through the year. Of course, this year was no exception. The first month went by smoothly and I was very encouraged and kept my dreams intact – this would be year I will make more positive impact on my students. Well, I spoke too soon! I had a parent who thought that I was rushing her child into too many responsibilities and that they were too rigorous for the six-year mind! Never mind that the rule was to put her sweater/sweatshirt/jean jacket on the back or the chair so that when needed it was readily at hand instead of going to the closet each time it was needed. Interestingly, the garment was needed quite often, and I realized soon that this could become disruptive for the student plus her peers. I stuck to my rule and decided that it was a reasonable request even though the parents were adamant about sending me notes and when that didn’t stir me, they would send similar notes to the principals, vice principals, guidance counselors and others in command to request that my “strict rules” be changed!
A few months later, another parent tried to pull the rug from under my feet and cursed me out in such way that I began to question my will to go on as a teacher. The demeaning words that were used were too much to be repeated and on top of that, it would degrade my professional stance. It must also be noted that this demeaning activity took place during dismissal, in the presence of parents, teachers and other students. This did not make a difference to the parent at all. I stood firm and I kept my cool. I kept thinking of how it would be easy to defend myself, took a chance and lose my teaching license or even lose the respect I had for the other parents. Yes, I didn’t lose my professionalism and I even thought of the Bible verse, that says, “A soft answer turneth away wrath but grievous words stir up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 My knees did feel as if they were buckling and tears were welling in my eyes, but I stood tall and continued to dismiss my remaining students.The Grassroots Edu
The year continued with a few mean words from peers and administrators, but I suffered in silence. I kept my cool and wallowed in self-pity, however, I didn’t teach any less or treat any of the students as if they were less than. Secretly, I wished I could retire or quit and stay home, however, the reality of no income or medical allowance scared me and as such slapped back into reality. I even shuddered to know that I had to deal with the “problem parents” and their students for the remainder of the school year. I kept going, grinned and bore the struggles. They were REAL too! I didn’t think anyone understood either.
I counted down the days of freedom and could not wait for the school year to end! As the days grew closer to the end, I heard that “I would be a perfect fit for an older grade because I had done so well in the current grade”! My first thought was, “why was I being punished for being a good teacher?” Another thought, “I thought I would be finishing up my career in this grade!” I was not a happy camper and weeks after I started thinking of how God can and will help me no matter who moves me where and who says what about me. I am still awesome and can rise above what derogatory words. I will always affirm myself. “I can do all things through Christ.” Philippians 4:13 The Grassroots EduThen, came the last day of school! I was presently surprised with gifts, gift cards, flowers and even tears of regret about leaving my class. The beautiful expressions of love and care from the parents and students were proof of strength and encouragement. I felt like I did my job well and made them feel social and emotionally appreciated. I felt like say, “Mission accomplished”! I even thought of the saying “giving people their flowers while it still matters”. I had done my best and was rewarded even if some people made me feel less than. There were some who still believed in me and cared about me. Kindness matters and we should ALL try to keep kindness in the forefront of our minds. A reminder to self: never stop doing my best just because I don’t get the compliments or credit from others.

 

 

Love is Patient and Kind