Do You Really Want to Know?
By Dr. Marcia
There are many things that I love about being kind and saying hello is one of them. Whenever I am walking in the hallways of work, it’s one of the things that comes naturally – just to say hi to my co- workers. Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same way. I don’t know if this happens to you. You say hello and those who respond (secret not everyone responds to kindness), may ask how are you doing? Surprisingly, I think they just say it just to be cordial because by the time I form my mouth to respond, the other person is gone. What is the point of asking how I am doing, and you don’t wait to get a respond? Are you really interested in knowing how I am doing?
It’s amazing how people can make you even change your demeanor, take for instance, I went to work as usual to prepare for my day and part of the preparation included making copies for my students. Well, I got into the copying room and another person was there making copies. So naturally, I said good morning quite pleasantly and by the time I got my pleasant words out, I was blasted with the words, “What’s so good about the morning?” I was in shock because I didn’t expect it and it also put a big damper on my mood and spirits. I was most of all scared and didn’t even want to continue being nice. I reassured myself that she must have been going through a rough morning and I was the first person she could spill her sadness on. Ever since that time, whenever I see that person, I am scared to even talk to the person. My mind flashes back to that day.
Then there was another time when I greeted a co-worker, and he asked how I was doing, and my response was that it was a long time and I felt tired. The last thing I expected to hear was that I was always complaining! I don’t even speak to that person on a regularly basis. In fact, I hardly cross paths with this person. It really left a bad taste in my mouth, especially since it was also my feelings, and what gave him the right to say I was complaining if that was how I felt? Above all, why did you ask if you didn’t want to hear my feelings? The world can be such an unfriendly place sometimes! Very few people are willing to take the time to listen or to even talk. I often evaluate myself and ask if that is the way I treated others. I am always willing to give someone a smile in the hallway or even on the streets. Smiles are free!
One of the things that I do as an educator, is that each morning when my students enter the classroom, I greet them with a smile and say good morning. I know that it makes a good start to the day. At times a few of them might be down and won’t respond but I encourage them to respond. The amazing thing is that they may also be the one who calls out another person who does not say good morning to the group. Interesting how we can “train up a child!” And we can be an example for adults even those we meet. We can’t allow people to define us or make us feel less than or even marginalized. Most important, do what you know is within you and continue doing good even when things around you seem dark, cloudy, and sad. It’s on the other person if they don’t care or don’t want to know how you feel.
