Full Circle

Dr. Marcia

Many years ago, I moved to New Jersey to start a new way of life and literally had no joy, but ready to start another phase of my life. One of the things that was an interesting difference that I had to face was that my daughter was attending a Christian private school for Pre-K and K and I felt as if she had a great start and as result was doing great. Added to that she had parents that were very involved in her life and school was no exception. Each class had 10-15 classes which to me was perfect. So, when we arrived in New Jersey and realized that we couldn’t afford for her to attend a private school since it was so expensive, I reluctantly enrolled her in a public school and hoped for the best.

I prepared for the first day of her school and when I got to the school, I saw the line of students and I started have nervous stomach because she was going to be literally a bad situation. I saw too many students and thought the worst! I grew scared and as I walked her to the line my heart was beating faster and faster and nerves were kicking in, “What have I done, how would she survive, I am thinking?” Well, because of her last name she was close to the front of the line, so I watched them walk in the school led by the new young teacher. I watched as they disappeared beyond the doors of the school and I nervously walked to the car to try to work at home. I was still jobless and my relocation was meant to bring new hopes.

As I went pick up my daughter from school, I realized the resilience. She walked to me smiling and she was chit chatting feverously. I couldn’t get any words in. She was telling me how excited she was about her new school, new teacher, new people she met and so on. It was obvious that my heart was at rest, this was home and we would have a great time in our new town, new life and new journey.

A few months after that I decided to enter into the classroom which I had abandoned because I thought I would not want to teach outside of my native country, Jamaica. But again, this was not in my hands. I completed the necessary paperwork to be a substitute teacher in the same district that my daughter was now attended. The idea was to see how things were and if I liked it and at least I would have some money until there was better. Well, by this I was doing well, I started to be requested by teachers who realized that I was really a good teacher. The students loved me and so did the teachers and above all most of the administrators I came into contact with. My strength and love of teaching saw a new light and I was ready to go further and watched where I was being led. I began to take all the necessary steps to take look beyond how I can go into the classroom fulltime in this district. So, I dug into getting my transcripts from far and near. I was determined to get in the classroom but it seemed as if I had to pull teeth and literally start all over again. It was heart breaking as I knew that back in Jamaica, I was a certified teacher, but in my new town, state and country, I had to do other things to be certified. It seemed unbearable and overwhelming yet I was determined. It seemed like the norm. I was hearing from so many teachers and principals how well I was doing, and this had gotten my confidence level up. Things were looking and sounding good.

Four years went by and I was given the opportunity by one of the principals, I had done long term sub, short term sub but lacked the full-time status. Imagine the joy when I was called and told, one week before school was scheduled to reopen, that I got a job and would be a third-grade teacher, I was ecstatic! I had one week to get my room together. I literally started living in the classroom so I could get it together. My daughter was there trying to let me feel like I knew how to set up a classroom.

Secretly though I wished I had gotten the job in the same school that my daughter was attending. By this she was in the 5^th Grade and I had to adjust myself to dropping her off in the morning and not going back home but heading in another direction in the same town to my newfound job.  No matter what, I was excited, I was ready to be that marvelous teacher. And yes, I was delightful to my students. My journey as a teacher was in every grade, for fifteen years, I was a teacher in 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th, 5^th and Basic Skills teacher where I a reading specialist, assisting students to love and master reading. I was a Student Counsel Advisor who planned students’ activities and fundraisers. I was doing well in my eyes, and I was making my mark as an educator.

Then, just before I ended my fifteenth year at this particular school, I was told that I was transferred to another school as a Basic Skills Teacher and then I was psyched out because I was then transferred to another school as a 1^st grade teacher and later 3^rd and then back to 1^st grade. The transfer/change initially was met with much trepidation as I felt wronged and wondered if I wasn’t doing my work in the best of my ability but later came to term with the fact that I can be great wherever I went. The biggest realization was that after 15 years, I was going to be teaching at the school where I wanted to be working at when my daughter was a student there.

Four days into teaching at my new assignment, I sat at my desk, one hour before the start of a new era of teaching first graders virtually. I realized that this is such a significant part of my journey!

Nineteen years ago, I came into this town and my daughter started 1^st grade in this new school and it was 9/11’s anniversary. Terrorists had attacked the United States and I had just moved to the town in NJ which was so near to NY. Thoughts of the morning of the attack flooded me. I remember I had just left my daughter by her school as if it were the first day of this school. I was driving home and was almost home when I heard the broadcaster on the radio say that a plane went into the twin towers in New York, however, the broadcaster sounded as if it were an accident. As I got into the house, I turned on the tv and there was more and more and more. Just pure disbelief of the terroristic act and people were just dying. I realized that I sat speechlessly and wondered if I knew anyone who was in those towers. Interestingly, also I had just gone to New York the Friday before and was to meet a friend and got lost because I took the Path train and had no clue what direction I was to be in. Looking back, it was if I was doing a tour of the area where the Twin Towers were. My steps were orchestrated and I had no clue! It didn’t seem real, the phone line was down, including the cell phone. The news kept going and going which, I then realized there was another attack in Washington D.C. I was clued to the tv, my housework had taken a back seat and I learned through the various news items that 19 militants associated with the Islamic extremist group Al Qaeda hijacked four airplanes and carried out suicide attacks against targets in the United States. Two of the planes were flown into the twin towers of the World Trade Center in New York City, a third plane hit the Pentagon just outside Washington, D.C., and then a fourth plane crashed in a field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. Overall, I also learned that almost 3,000 people were killed during the 9/11 terrorist attacks, which triggered major U.S. initiatives to combat terrorism and defined the then president, George W. Bush. Travelling by plane changed drastically, securities were tightened everywhere. Here I was facing change, though not as drastic but still change! I was on familiar “grounds” with faculty who knew me from then but others who didn’t, but I was there.

My mind was racing as I thought of the changes I too had gone through and how after 15 years I landed in a position where I wanted to be 15 years ago. The experiences I had, taught me so many things and made me into a stronger person and I realized how much stronger I had become and that I must accept the timing. Could it be that this set of first graders need me and I am just right for them? This new me was ready to embrace the challenges and soar with them. I do know that I must trust the journey especially since I don’t know what it will bring.

The circle of life – the new birth of my teaching life!