Please, Call Me by My Name….

By Dr. Marcia

Being called my correct name has always been an issue for me. It started years ago when I migrated to the United States and my new journey began. Little did I know that it also meant having a “new name”!  Well, the pattern began when a couple months after my move to a new country and a new type of climate, I had to go to the doctor’s office to check my on my health as everything seemed to be rebelling because of the new temperature that I had to live in and the hay that was close to where I resided. As I sat in the waiting room, I was reading a book to pass the time but could hear one of the nurses come out and yelled, “Marsha Dawkins”!  This happened several times but of course it didn’t hit me that she was calling me until I got a sharp jab in my side. “That’s you, you know. She is calling you!” I got up hesitantly, to move towards the nurse. I was still puzzled. Later as time went by, I realized that most people in the United States pronounced, “Marcia” as “Marsha” and I was constantly reminded that “I was Marsha, Marsha, from the Brady Bunch!” I grew tired of hearing it and I was always explaining that my name was not “Marsha” but “Marcia” as in “Garcia”. There were many who attempted to correct but more who simply shrugged their shoulders and said, “well, that’s what I know and it’s okay!” No, it’s not okay, that is not my name and I should be called by my name.

I think of the many times, I enter my classroom and I have new students and as I look at the roster, I try to pronounce the names phonetically, but then realize that it’s not the best way to go about it. So I tried a new approach. I have been asking the students to introduce themselves and as they do I write how they said it phonetically so I can say it the same way as they do. If I plundered, I would ask for their help because I didn’t want to “mess up” their given names. How many of us take the time to do so? How many of us realize that when you miss pronounce a person’s name that you are dehumanizing them? I might even go further to say that you are being dismissive and being ignorant. I often put myself in the students’ position, how would I feel if they were messing up my name? Well, I have been there and it has been done to me several times and still being done to me and I must say that I really dislike it and as a result I don’t want to do it to any person, let alone a student. I think it is a way of getting to know your student and also learn something new about names and the students.

We must recognize that our names are our identity and if we say the names wrong, we are stripping the person aside, damaging their self-worth and self-confidence. Whatever effort it takes to learn the person’s name, we should, and learning the name sends the message that we really care about the person especially our students.  Some of us might not even think it is important since it has never happened to you. If it happens that you mess up the student’s name and the student tell you then you, should make every effort to correct. Or if you say it, make sure to tell the student to correct you since some might be shy, too scared or too polite to tell the teacher. This I, again, sending a message to them the students that they are important, and they matter in your classroom.

A few weeks ago, I asked 35 college students how they felt about their names being pronounced as given and it was interesting to see the response. These future teachers were telling how they really feel valued when teachers, including professors, pronounced their names properly and it would be a priority of theirs to make students feel valued if they pronounce their names as given. The future teachers were adamant about this matter since some of them had been through the same kind of problems and wanted to implement the same kind rule in their classroom so the students will feel respected and valued. I even referred them to the book, Your Name is a Song, written by Jamilah Thompkins-Bigelow. In this book highlights a student who was frustrated because her teacher didn’t pronounce her name correctly. She didn’t want to go to school because of that.  Many of us might even think it as trivial, but we must be mindful of our students and how we can make an impact on them and encourage them to feel valuable. It was Dalai Lama who once said, “When educating the minds of our youth, we must not forget to educate their hearts.” What a great way of reaching students’ hearts, by calling them by their given name, the correct way of pronouncing them.

The link below highlights yet another story where the vice president nominee’s name was mispronounced and  she was mocked because of her name. It further proves that time and time again, persons are disrespected because of their names. Why is it so difficult to take the time to get to know the correct pronunciation of someone’s name? Are they not important or is that we just think others are insignificant?

https://www.theroot.com/david-perdues-mocking-of-kamala-harris-name-is-turning-1845406435?rev=1603035814272&utm_campaign=The+Root&utm_content=1603036196&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR12UuF_98zGN6Ss1zSkKCDqPtvi1vgMeYb_M2npRWaVnMOmxPl8qzOxA1A