True Friends Never Part
By Dr. Marcia Davis-Dawkins
It has been said that a true friend is one who walks in when others walk out. It is that person who often knows us better than we know ourselves. With gentle honesty, they are there to guide us, to support us, to share our laughter and wipe our tears. Their mere presence serves to remind us that we are never really alone. I lost such a treasure last week when my dear friend passed. While my heart is broken and I am numb with grief, I realize that her absence affects me so greatly because her presence meant so much. I bade farewell to you my sister but our roots go way back to the days of Sunday School, youth camps, retreats, fun days and “press hair”.
Let me start at the beginning.
As a little country (rural Jamaica) 9-year girl going to live in the city of Kingston, Jamaica, I was truly apprehensive and not ready for what my new world had in store. One of the first people I met at church and Sunday school was this wonderful and amazing soul, whom I would later call my dear friend. A few years after, I realized that we were going to attend the same high school and eventually the same college, sing in the same choirs, and go to camp together. In fact, we often joked about the time when we sang in the 3 M’s (Marcia, Michelle and Marie) and we knew that she was the one who held the group’s harmony. 
She loved to read and guess what? I wanted to be able to love reading just like her. Oh, how I wanted to be emulate her, including singing, being a Sunday School Secretary, tackle the same business subjects as she and on and on. I even wanted to play the piano because she played. I was really excited when I talked to her a few months before her passing to tell her that I had started learning to play the piano. Oh, the amazing encouragement she showered on me as I told her this wonderful news. Even though we were the same age, she was a wonderful role model. Wherever she was I wanted to be there and we always seemed to be in the same space. So much so, that when I migrated to England, I was excited to discover that she would be in the same area studying what she loved: Accounting!! It was real. Coincidentally, when it was time for us to specialize in high school I consulted her to see what subjects she was taking because I was so indecisive and sure enough whatever reasons she gave I went along with them and to date I have not regretted them. You might think that I didn’t know how to be me, but that was not the case. It somehow meant that I admired her zeal and her tenacity for life and I realized after many years that she wanted to be like me!!! Imagine my surprise when I found this out. Over the years the distance did not stop us from keeping in touch, we went from letter writing to using the various forms of technology to keep in touch. We never grew tired of each other and we always found something to talk about and encourage each other about.
I will also miss her kind spirit, her work ethic, and her willingness to go the extra mile for me. If I needed a ride to go somewhere, she will be the one to offer. I miss her comforting words and I know that even now, she would be saying, “Marci, I am okay, don’t worry yourself!” All said with that infectious smile and a glitter in her beautiful eyes. I will even miss the way her eyes closed when we took photos, As I reflect on our lives together, I don’t remember us even having a disagreement. As stubborn as she was, we always seemed to talk things through and manage to laugh at each other. Whenever she was in pain, I was in pain and the reverse was true. Sometimes we would share our woes about our parents and how unfair and unreasonable they seemed, and we would laugh and cry about what seemed like misfortunes.
It’s thought-provoking that my friend passed away on Holy Week (in the Christian community), when the Lord suffered on the Cross, I feel like my friend also suffered and was able to reflect on her life during her hospitalization. In fact, when she initially told me of her diagnosis, she realized that I might be worried (given my personality) she said to me, “It’s okay Marci, I had a long talk with God and I am ready. Don’t worry yourself.” As she said those words tears streamed down my face and I knew I had to have the same faith as she. During her stay at the hospital she would continuously say, “Don’t worry, just continue to pray for me.” My prayer initially started off as “Lord please heal my friend so that she can have a huge testimony,” but then it changed to “Lord, not my will but Your Will.” Talk about transition! As I continue to heal about her recent death, I know I just miss me being able to pick up the phone and call her so we can talk and maybe giggle like kindergarteners. I am grateful for her life and the amazing friendship that we shared. I will treasure it forever and ever. I continue to make an affirmation that: My life: my mind, my body, my emotions, my soul and spirit reflect the glory of God and point people to Him. I continue to want to be like my friend and want others to see the Light in me through my walk, my talk and even my smile! I want to know and learn more about God as indicated in Psalms 42:12 – “As the deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.”
I will never forget you… your laughter, your child-like smile with that twinkle in your eyes; the way your eyes closed when we took photos and of course your unmistakable, melodious alto voice. You were gracious, never forgetting to say thank you, even as you lay sick in the hospital; loving – always giving a tender pat, hug or touch; loyal, remaining faithful to those you loved and held dear.
As an educator and a parent, I would love to be able to teach the strength and unity of friendship, as well as the pure beauty of it. I would like to impart what I have become cognizant of while reflecting upon my friend’s life and passing, which is that we never lose people we love, even to death. They continue to participate in every act, thought and decision we make. Their love leaves an indelible imprint in our memories. While our hearts ache and our tears may flow freely and abundantly, we can find comfort in knowing that our lives have been enriched by having shared their love. Ultimately, grief is not the absence of love, but proof that love existed and is still there and as long as the relationship lives in our hearts, true friends never part.
Hush Marcia, feel it with you. It’s tuff. Thank God you have the hope of reuniting. Treasure the memories!!
Thank you, Claudette, I am bent on it.
Thank you so much for sharing Dr. Davis. Very well written. I admire your work.
Thanks for your support, Carolyn.
Marcia, this is beautiful. I get to see my sister through your eyes. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for the support. I will be forever grateful for our friendship.
This is such a beautiful tribute to Michelle. I met her when she was so small and have seen her love and inspire others through her work, music and her joyful spirit. We are all blessed to have had her share our life story. RIP…joyb
Thanks Joy, Michelle was indeed a blessing.
I loved Michelle’s laugh most. No matter your mood you left her presence in a better one.
Oh such joy, her laughter brought to us.
As I read the article tears filled my eyes. These are beautiful memories!Always remember Marcia that you shall see her again if you remain faithful to God!🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🌷🌷
Beautiful article. Marcia, she sang with the Diocesan Festival Choir with which I sing, about two years ago. In fact, I learned about her death at a choir rehearsal – small world! May Light Perpetual shine upon her!
Thanks Bobby, it’s really that I didn’t realize that you both sang on the same choir, wow, small world right?
Thanks Claudette, she really made an impact on my life, so I wanted to paint that picture. I am keeping the hope alive!!
Marcia,
Beautiful tribute to a beautiful person. Thanks for writing and sharing!
Thanks Sophia
Very touching. I am encouraged to do some self examination.
Thank you Marcia!
Thanks Joan.
Marcia, this is so beautifully written from the heart. I cried reading your sister friend story! I lost a true childhood friend a few months ago! She was the true definition of a sister friend for life! Thanks for share as this do help to understand and not to be selfish! God give us these blessings of sister friendship for life🙏🏽
Thanks for your support, Michelle was a great sister friend and will remain in my heart forever!
Marcia, greetings. I stumbled on your site, only to discover the reality you’re dealing with so objectively and realistically. I always knew you were a sweetheart. I only just got a true glimpse of your sweet little heart.
As I condole with you, I want you to know how proud I am of you. Keep being sweet and sincere. God honours such virtues; be strong in Him. Abundant blessings and lots of love.
Thanks so much Godfrey, your support is appreciated!
I love this Marcia, while I am not as close to her as you I can relate. Every time I get in a quiet place I see her smiling face. In 6B we acted like twins because our birthdays were 6 days apart (Gemini girls).
Keep holding on to those memories and she will never be forgotten.
Sandra, it sounds like something Michelle would do to bring joy and fun. We will definitely hold on to the beautiful memories we created.
I had to take pause a few times to wipe the flow of tears from my eyes. What an amazing way to honor and pay tribute to someone who has impacted one’s life in such a profound way. Your transparency, authencity and genuine love for your friend and clearly hers for you reached deeply into my soul. This is a great reminder of how we continue to live on within those we encounter while we are no longer here in the physical form. Continue to create a life that makes the difference in this world Marci. I feel honored to be in existence at the same time as you.
Thanks so much for your kind words Coach Debi and I really appreciate you taking the time to read this tribute to my amazing friend.
A well written piece Marcia. Excellent job! Yes that smile, laugh and use of eyes we will always remember. She gave selflessly and you are so correct – a true friend.
A friend who will be in our thoughts for a long time to come.
Thank you for this tribute.
Thanks Fredricka, the memories will live on!!
Awesome of you to share with us. I was looking back on my class year book page with Michelle on it, and it is difficult to know that she is gone. You guys stayed close, and that’s really nice. It’s awesome to know that she was at peace. Tears for human feelings of loss, but hope bcz it is only temporary. Enjoy your birthday….. She would have wanted you to.
Well written Marci, you will see Michelle again. Remain faithful and remember in all things give thanks. Give thank for Michelle’s life. God bless you.
Thanks for your support.
..tears flowed as I read this!A wonderful tribute to a beautiful soul inside and out!Love this!Thank you!