by Marcia Davis-Dawkins | Mar 6, 2021 | Education, Kids, Parents, Teachers, Teens
No One Should Steal Your Happy
By Dr. Marcia
“I apologize for what happened yesterday, and it won’t happen again. Today, no one is going to steal my happy!” Those were the words of my seven-year student who had a temper tantrum the day before and he declared that he was responsible for his happiness. This bold statement from a young child hit me like a rock because it also made me think about the days when I would allow someone to steal my happy. The same days that I may have even thrown a tantrum of my own because I was frustrated and even confused. What about you, have you ever allowed someone to steal your happy? 
It is interesting to say that even though I am a) many years older than seven and b) the teacher and leader for children. This was a huge lesson for me and a reminder that I am definitely in charge of my happiness. It had me thinking of so many ways that I can make myself happy as well as helping others to be happy. Of course, there are days when things just seem overwhelming and overbearing but there has to be some ways to be happy and claim our happy. For me, being happy spiritually will lead me to greater happiness. I am reminded of the Bible verse in Nehemiah 8:10 NIV, “Do not grieve for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Strength and happiness go hand in hand, those two words also help with our affirmation. Let’s not clutch on to sadness – choose happiness. We are sometimes addicted to being sad.
Our children can teach us so much, but we may marginalize what they have to say and miss their point. Let’s help them and ourselves to reach out towards being the positive emotion. Let go of the familiar negative energy. Happiness may seem like it’s hard to find, but we should meditate on this quote from an author who is unknown, “Don’t let the entire staircase overwhelm you. Just focus on that first step.” Remember being happy is really up to you! Sometimes we allow others to really steal or happy or we rely on others to decide when we are happy.
There are many people who have written about ways to encourage us to be happy. I will list some of them, even though I don’t think the list exhausted. Maybe we can look at see if some of them will help. According to Cyndi Calhoun in an article in Lifehack. She shares this list.
Start with a good dose of gratitude.
Make sure you are giving back.
Laugh every day (it’s better than money)
Foster good relationships with family and friends.
Take some alone time.
Do what you love.
Volunteer your time.
Get enough exercise.
I can only wonder if anyone or anything is stealing our happy. Believe me I have really been thinking and taking stack of what is stealing my happy or joy.
There 
are studies that say that happiness really begins with showing gratitude, so that’s a good place to start – Give thanks for everything!
Determination and Perseverance
by Marcia Davis-Dawkins | Jan 28, 2021 | Education, Kids, Parents, Teachers, Teens
Add Value
Dr. Marcia
Like everyone else, Covid-19 caused many changes and through the changes, we have had to weather some kind of storm. During this time, we taught virtually, we had meetings virtually, we had church virtually, we had birthdays virtually, we had funerals virtually and on and on. Many of them we didn’t even think we could have done, but we did. I never dreamed that we could actually teach from home especially elementary school-aged students, but we did and even doing a great job too.
For me, I have been navigating teaching virtually and each day seems to bring many challenges yet somehow, I have been weathering the storms. One of the storms that I go through is, how do I use this challenging time is trying to encourage my students, so they don’t get down and despondent. This has definitely not been easy and I greet each day with hope and openness as I begin each day. I encourage my students with positive affirmations, so they feel valuable and special. This takes some time during the day, yet I feel like once they feel special and I add value to their lives, then learning can take place. Believe it or not, it has also been teaching me to be more patient which is also adding value to my life.
What does it mean to add value? Value as defined by the dictionary, is when we regard something as important, worth, or usefulness. It can even go further as based on the standards of someone’s behavior or judgment.
So, if I value someone, it means I respect his/her principles based on my standards. So, to add value to other people’s lives including students, I must live my life with integrity so I can be a role model for them. It also means being sincere and authentic.
Just by giving someone a call or sending a message to someone can help the person to feel special and feel valid and valuable simply by saying hello. Even if I am thinking of someone, it was not by mere coincidence, I shouldn’t miss opportunities to make an impact on that person. Add value to the person by the choice I make, even if it means making a sacrifice to visit or spend time doing something for that person/that student. It makes a difference in the long run.
I feel like I make my points better when I use examples from my life. I recently visited a friend whom I have known for a long time. I have been putting off visiting this friend because of time constraints and just because of life getting in the way. I finally decided to visit and put off other things that I could have been doing. On my arrival I realized that my friend was so happy to see me and that I was spending time with her, that she cooked a delicious meal, she had gifts for me and on top of all of that she had a beautiful cake for me. 
She said that she wanted to “celebrate me for me”! Talk about a surprise! I was so excited; I could not even think. When I finally figured it out, I was saying how grateful, I am to have someone who value me and think of me as a special friend to “celebrate me”. I wanted to talk about this and let everyone know that this is how we should add value to someone’s life by simply saying how special the person is. It does not necessarily have to be where you buy a gift, or even be as lavish, but simply a phone call or a text message or a card.
By adding value to my life, my friend saw the best in me because she felt like I needed to know that I was special, and she didn’t even know what I was going through. She felt as if I needed to hear that I was special. The interesting thing is that there were no strings attached, it was just being kind to a friend.
In my virtual classroom, I can add value to my students because some of them might be longing for love and kindness. This to me is a way to help them to step into their greatness and produce more of their potential. By being passionate and always giving love, they will be willing to learn. I also believe that when I give a listening ear, I am adding value to their lives.
Another thing that is being reinforced during this pandemic is that I should take the labels off people especially my students and help to emancipate their minds from mental slavery. Love them without limits and be kind in many ways. I can also be willing to help those in need and give of myself by using my talents
Cake my friend gave me 
When all is said and done, I can be humble and encourage those I meet even though there can be dull moments at times, let positivity reign. I can be patient and make sure I take other’s feelings into consideration. I can speak to my students using gentle words and give advice. Affirm them every step of the way and add more value to their lives. We must press towards our goals. Even though the times seem dark and dreary, I can, and must be the change agent and don’t render evil for evil. I can add value to someone’s life. I can find it in my heart to love even when I don’t feel loved! I think you can too, especially since we are ALL valuable in His sight!
Love is Patient and Kind
by Marcia Davis-Dawkins | Nov 12, 2020 | Education, Kids, Parents, Teachers, Teens
Please, Call Me by My Name….
By Dr. Marcia
Being called my correct name has always been an issue for me. It started years ago when I migrated to the United States and my new journey began. Little did I know that it also meant having a “new name”! Well, the pattern began when a couple months after my move to a new country and a new type of climate, I had to go to the doctor’s office to check my on my health as everything seemed to be rebelling because of the new temperature that I had to live in and the hay that was close to where I resided. As I sat in the waiting room, I was reading a book to pass the time but could hear one of the nurses come out and yelled, “Marsha Dawkins”! This happened several times but of course it didn’t hit me that she was calling me until I got a sharp jab in my side. “That’s you, you know. She is calling you!” I got up hesitantly, to move towards the nurse. I was still puzzled. Later as time went by, I realized that most people in the United States pronounced, “Marcia” as “Marsha” and I was constantly reminded that “I was Marsha, Marsha, from the Brady Bunch!” I grew tired of hearing it and I was always explaining that my name was not “Marsha” but “Marcia” as in “Garcia”. There were many who attempted to correct but more who simply shrugged their shoulders and said, “well, that’s what I know and it’s okay!” No, it’s not okay, that is not my name and I should be called by my name.
I think of the many times, I enter my classroom and I have new students and as I look at the roster, I try to pronounce the names phonetically, but then realize that it’s not the best way to go about it. So I tried a new approach. I have been asking the students to introduce themselves and as they do I write how they said it phonetically so I can say it the same way as they do. If I plundered, I would ask for their help because I didn’t want to “mess up” their given names. How many of us take the time to do so? How many of us realize that when you miss pronounce a person’s name that you are dehumanizing them? I might even go further to say that you are being dismissive and being ignorant. I often put myself in the students’ position, how would I feel if they were messing up my name? Well, I have been there and it has been done to me several times and still being done to me and I must say that I really dislike it and as a result I don’t want to do it to any person, let alone a student. I think it is a way of getting to know your student and also learn something new about names and the students.
We must recognize that our names are our identity and if we say the names wrong, we are stripping the person aside, damaging their self-worth and self-confidence. Whatever effort it takes to learn the person’s name, we should, and learning the name sends the message that we really care about the person especially our students. Some of us might not even think it is important since it has never happened to you. If it happens that you mess up the student’s name and the student tell you then you, should make every effort to correct. Or if you say it, make sure to tell the student to correct you since some might be shy, too scared or too polite to tell the teacher. This I, again, sending a message to them the students that they are important, and they matter in your classroom.
A few weeks ago, I asked 35 college students how they felt about their names being pronounced as given and it was interesting to see the response. These future teachers were telling how they really feel valued when teachers, including professors, pronounced their names properly and it would be a priority of theirs to make students feel valued if they pronounce their names as given. The future teachers were adamant about this matter since some of them had been through the same kind of problems and wanted to implement the same kind rule in their classroom so the students will feel respected and valued. I even referred them to the book, Your Name is a Song, written by Jamilah Thompkins-Bigelow. In this book highlights a student who was frustrated because her teacher didn’t pronounce her name correctly. She didn’t want to go to school because of that. Many of us might even think it as trivial, but we must be mindful of our students and how we can make an impact on them and encourage them to feel valuable. It was Dalai Lama who once said, “When educating the minds of our youth, we must not forget to educate their hearts.” What a great way of reaching students’ hearts, by calling them by their given name, the correct way of pronouncing them.
The link below highlights yet another story where the vice president nominee’s name was mispronounced and she was mocked because of her name. It further proves that time and time again, persons are disrespected because of their names. Why is it so difficult to take the time to get to know the correct pronunciation of someone’s name? Are they not important or is that we just think others are insignificant?
https://www.theroot.com/david-perdues-mocking-of-kamala-harris-name-is-turning-1845406435?rev=1603035814272&utm_campaign=The+Root&utm_content=1603036196&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR12UuF_98zGN6Ss1zSkKCDqPtvi1vgMeYb_M2npRWaVnMOmxPl8qzOxA1A
The Power of Words
by Marcia Davis-Dawkins | Oct 14, 2020 | Education
Full Circle
Dr. Marcia
Many years ago, I moved to New Jersey to start a new way of life and literally had no joy, but ready to start another phase of my life. One of the things that was an interesting difference that I had to face was that my daughter was attending a Christian private school for Pre-K and K and I felt as if she had a great start and as result was doing great. Added to that she had parents that were very involved in her life and school was no exception. Each class had 10-15 classes which to me was perfect. So, when we arrived in New Jersey and realized that we couldn’t afford for her to attend a private school since it was so expensive, I reluctantly enrolled her in a public school and hoped for the best.
I prepared for the first day of her school and when I got to the school, I saw the line of students and I started have nervous stomach because she was going to be literally a bad situation. I saw too many students and thought the worst! I grew scared and as I walked her to the line my heart was beating faster and faster a
nd nerves were kicking in, “What have I done, how would she survive, I am thinking?” Well, because of her last name she was close to the front of the line, so I watched them walk in the school led by the new young teacher. I watched as they disappeared beyond the doors of the school and I nervously walked to the car to try to work at home. I was still jobless and my relocation was meant to bring new hopes.
As I went pick up my daughter from school, I realized the resilience. She walked to me smiling and she was chit chatting feverously. I couldn’t get any words in. She was telling me how excited she was about her new school, new teacher, new people she met and so on. It was obvious that my heart was at rest, this was home and we would have a great time in our new town, new life and new journey.
A few months after that I decided to enter into the classroom which I had abandoned because I thought I would not want to teach outside of my native country, Jamaica. But again, this was not in my hands. I completed the necessary paperwork to be a substitute teacher in the same district that my daughter was now attended. The idea was to see how things were and if I liked it and at least I would have some money until there was better. Well, by this I was doing well, I started to be requested by teachers who realized that I was really a good teacher. The students loved me and so did the teachers and above all most of the administrators I came into contact with. My strength and love of teaching saw a new light and I was ready to go further and watched where I was being led. I began to take all the necessary steps to take look beyond how I can go into the classroom fulltime in this district. So, I dug into getting my transcripts from far and near. I was determined to get in the classroom but it seemed as if I had to pull teeth and literally start all over again. It was heart breaking as I knew that back in Jamaica, I was a certified teacher, but in my new town, state and country, I had to do other things to be certified. It seemed unbearable and overwhelming yet I was determined. It seemed like the norm. I was hearing from so many teachers and principals how well I was doing, and this had gotten my confidence level up. Things were looking and sounding good.
Four years went by and I was given the opportunity by one of the principals, I had done long term sub, short term sub but lacked the full-time status. Imagine the joy when I was called and told, one week before school was scheduled to reopen, that I got a job and would be a third-grade teacher, I was ecstatic! I had one week to get my room together. I literally started living in the classroom so I could get it together. My daughter was there trying to let me feel like I knew how to set up a classroom.
Secretly though I wished I had gotten the job in the same school that my daughter was attending. By this she was in the 5th Grade and I had to adjust myself to dropping her off in the morning and not going back home but heading in another direction in the same town to my newfound job. No matter what, I was excited, I was ready to be that marvelous teacher. And yes, I was delightful to my students. My journey as a teacher was in every grade, for fifteen years, I was a teacher in 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th and Basic Skills teacher where I a reading specialist, assisting students to love and master reading. I was a Student Counsel Advisor who planned students’ activities and fundraisers. I was doing well in my eyes, and I was making my mark as an educator.
Then, just before I ended my fifteenth year at this particular school, I was told that I was transferred to another school as a Basic Skills Teacher and then I was psyched out because I was then transferred to another school as a 1st grade teacher and later 3rd and then back to 1st grade. The transfer/change initially was met with much trepidation as I felt wronged and wondered if I wasn’t doing my work in the best of my ability but later came to term with the fact that I can be great wherever I went. The biggest realization was that after 15 years, I was going to be teaching at the school where I wanted to be working at when my daughter was a student there.
Four days into teaching at my new assignment, I sat at my desk, one hour before the start of a new era of teaching first graders virtually. I realized that this is such a significant part of my journey!
Nineteen years ago, I came into this town and my daughter started 1st grade in this new school and it was 9/11’s anniversary. Terrorists had attacked the United States and I had just moved to the town in NJ which was so near to NY. Thoughts of the morning of the attack flooded me. I remember I had just left my daughter by her school as if it were the first day of this school. I was driving home and was almost home when I heard the broadcaster on the radio say that a plane went into the twin towers in New York, however, the broadcaster sounded as if it were an accident. As I got into the house, I turned on the tv and there was more and more and more. Just pure disbelief of the terroristic act and people were just dying. I realized that I sat speechlessly and wondered if I knew anyone who was in those towers. Interestingly, also I had just gone to New York the Friday before and was to meet a friend and got lost because I took the Path train and had no clue what direction I was to be in. Looking back, it was if I was doing a tour of the area where the Twin Towers were. My steps were orchestrated and I had no clue! It didn’t seem real, the phone line was down, including the cell phone. The news kept going and going which, I then realized there was another attack in Washington D.C. I was clued to the tv, my housework had taken a back seat and I learned through the various news items that 19 militants associated with the Islamic extremist group Al Qaeda hijacked four airplanes and carried out suicide attacks against targets in the United States. Two of the planes were flown into the twin towers of the World Trade Center in New York City, a third plane hit the Pentagon just outside Washington, D.C., and then a fourth plane crashed in a field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. Overall, I also learned that almost 3,000 people were killed during the 9/11 terrorist attacks, which triggered major U.S. initiatives to combat terrorism and defined the then president, George W. Bush. Travelling by plane changed drastically, securities were tightened everywhere. Here I was facing change, though not as drastic but still change! I was on familiar “grounds” with faculty who knew me from then but others who didn’t, but I was there.
My mind was racing as I thought of the changes I too had gone through and how after 15 years I landed in a position where I wanted to be 15 years ago. The experiences I had, taught me so many things and made me into a stronger person and I realized how much stronger I had become and that I must accept the timing. Could it be that this set of first graders need me and I am just right for them? This new me was ready to embrace the challenges and soar with them. I do know that I must trust the journey especially since I don’t know what it will bring.
The circle of life – the new birth of my teaching life!
Education and Success
by Marcia Davis-Dawkins | Sep 22, 2020 | Education, Kids, Parents, Teachers
Stay Rooted
By Dr. Marcia
Recently I experienced the remanence of a hurricane and technically a storm. Being from a Caribbean country, Jamaica, I have been through many storms. Storms that were devastating, storms that left the country and the area I was in a state of seemingly disrepair. As I experienced the storms, I thought about the thunder, the lightning, the persistently heavy downpour, the trees being battered, the zincs flying in the air, people’s roofs going everywhere, various objects that are not hunkered down going here and there and even tides and waves rising. I also personalized the storms and how figuratively storms affect my life. Storms of life are everywhere and affect people in different ways, and mine are no exception. Important reminder is that no storm lasts forever and just like in a real hurricane, storms move from side to side but there are definitely here to make us stronger. I somehow think of those days when I see storms and the devastation just seem overwhelming and things just don’t seem to be able to come back together, but with time and efforts from people, things start to be rebuilt and come back together and I even look in awe and wonder how things seems as if nothing happened.
One thing I am certain of is that storms are never friendly, no matter the size or category. They can beat me up and they have made me feel as if I am going under, but then I have to dig deep and stay rooted.
Speaking of staying rooted, as I walked in the park the morning after the recent storm I experienced, it was obvious that some of the trees were uprooted and I thought about how these big, seemingly strong trees were uprooted. Not just the limbs and branches, but most were UPROOTED!! Again, I thought of life for me, the storms of life can uproot me if I am not planted firmly in what I believe and most of all in whom I believe. Will my faith be uprooted by a storm that come my way? Will I be morally sound or rooted? Will the storm knock me off my feet? Will I be prepared?
How can I make sure I am prepared for a storm? Well, I do know that part of the preparation for a storm is making sure there is enough food supply, the house is in order – which means making sure that the roofs and buildings are ready to withstand the winds and rain. Preparation means that outdoor furniture is hunkered down so they can’t “fly” away. It also means making sure there is enough water stored just in case the water has to be turned off. There could also be loss of electrical supply, so I have to prepare by getting candles, lanterns, flashlights, lamps, or generators ready, in the event there is a loss of electrical power. Most of all, the weather authorities sometimes warn against going outside during the storm, during the eye of a hurricane, just in case there are flying debris or objects. If I am not prepared, I could be caught off guard and left without even essential items.
Just like the physical storms of life, I can be caught off guard in my personal storm of life, and so I must also prepare. It should be noted that the storms will definitely come, and I can ensure that I include the following tips:
- Giving praise or simply giving thanks for the storm, no matter what the magnitude. Believe it or not the storms prepare me for future living and other storms. During the storm I can spend time praying while giving praise.
- I can’t give up, I must persevere. Giving up means I am not giving myself a chance at surviving. I must stay on the target and not expect there to be a quick solution to the problem (storm).
- I must be rooted, grounded and firmly planted. This also means staying focused and not lose hope or faith. Things will and can get better.
- I can draw strength from within or I can draw strength from friends, family or even co-workers because iron can sharpen iron. This also means that we can learn from each other because really and truly, “no man is an island” and we need each other. They can encourage me in some way or other.
After a storm, I realize that some supplies could be limited, (water, food, electrical supplies), but thank God, that he is able to supply ALL my needs no matter what. I must stay rooted in Him so He will continue to lead me to my purpose on this earth. Overall, I must embrace my storms because I wouldn’t get my strength and the storms also gets my attention. Since I am an educator, it also means that I build my life on integrity, and good moral standards so that my students and those whom I encounter will have a positive role model in me.
Peace in the Midst of the Storm
by Marcia Davis-Dawkins | Jul 6, 2020 | Education
There Should Be Balance!
By Dr. Marcia Davis-Dawkins
Mother’s Day 2020 was not a normal one. It seems like it would be just another COVID-19 day, one that we were quarantined and would sit and be grateful for being alive and well unlike so many others who had succumbed to the dreaded pandemic. After all, Mother’s Day will be special for me whichever way I took it.
My daughter decided that she would surprise me and teach me to ride a bicycle! This sounded crazy especially since most people at my age can ride a bicycle, so the comments I usually get include, “How come you can’t ride a bicycle?” “You really can’t ride a bike?” “Were you just a scaredy-cat?” Little did they know that not everyone is privileged to have access to a bicycle, and that was not priority when I was younger. Anyway, as I was learning I realized that there had to balance and that was the key to my being successful. I needed to face my fear of falling and learn how to balance on the bicycle! Albert Einstein’s words rang in my ears as I tried the arduous task of balancing. He said that “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” I have taken cycling classes before at the gym and in fact, seen this quote on the wall of the cycling class but it didn’t matter then since the bikes were stationary and all I had to do was pedal to get going and the more I pedaled the faster I would go which would mean that I burnt more calories. This I had to put in place the hard way and truth be told, I learned the hard way because I tried to do things my way and let fear get in the way. Now I have a scar on my shin to show that I need balance in my life!
How many of us can remember being on a seesaw as a younger you? Well, I can especially since being on a seesaw was not much of challenge, so I mastered
the art of see-sawing! Well, think about it if there is balance with the see-saw then both sides are on the same level. For those of you who are unsure what a seesaw is it a common playground equipment that features a board balanced in the center. One person sits on each end, and they take turns pushing their feet against the ground to lift their side into the air.
Taking care of ourselves includes having a balance so that we are not indulging in too much of anything. It means that we are listening to our bodies and ensuring that everything is aligned and feels good or okay. Many of us can tell for instance, when we have eaten too much and feeling stuffed. If we eat too much, then we will feel stuffed as well as gain too much weight. Then there is a spiral effect, if you gain too much weight then, there could be health issues like diabetes, or heart problems which then means that we don’t feel good about ourselves.
Setting boundaries is part of making things balance. If we are not balanced emotionally, then we are always down on ourselves. For instance, we might spend too much time watching the news, which tend to be sad and disturbing so watching the news can cause us to be depressed and unbalanced emotionally. We should therefore set emotional boundaries, so we don’t become too upset or even angry. We should be emotionally okay so much so that if we feel as if we need to talk to a therapist, then we should and avoid the misnomer that people will assume we are unstable if they are aware that we are seeing a therapist.
Balancing can also mean management of people we listen to or the types of people we surround ourselves with. Most times if we are surrounded by negatives people in our space then we tend to think just like they do which can become draining. Get rid of toxic people, who thrive on getting us down. Take time to breathe and feel save. Talk to friends and family who make you happy and confident. Sometimes our space has too much unnecessary noise and we find that people are saying things without even aware of facts versus false news. We should consider fact or just simply knowing the truth. Sometimes if we are uninformed, we can read to get informed and read from reliable sources so we can get in the know. Again, know when we are reading too much – stay balanced and know when to take a break and even say the right thing to others. Everyone’s mental health is not the same so we should balance and choose our words wisely.
Another important part of the balancing act in life is learning exercise often, so that we will stay healthy and even feel good about ourselves. This also ties in well with eating healthily so that we can no doubt feel happy because we won’t develop chronic diseases. Overall, we take care of self emotionally, spiritually, and physically. But in everything, don’t overdue things, don’t overeat, don’t over exercise, don’t over talk, and so on. As educators, we tend to take care of others, before we take care of ourselves. We must ensure that we are sending the correct messages to our children and believe it or not they will know when we are not taking care of ourselves. Help our students celebrate wins, especially when a skill is learned. Sometimes we extend ourselves too far, too much time for family and none for self – set balances. If there are no balances, then we eventually get burnt out. Be and feel valuable, affirm ourselves and feel confident! After all, our bodies should be our temples.
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Determination and Perseverance
